its been raining and raining and raining for the past few days. seriously. what is happening to the world? rain and stop rain and stop rain and stop. when's it going to end?

today, i announced that the world was going to end during our two hour break. then we discussed about what we would do if we only had twenty four hours to live.

the world is dying. Earth's resources are rapidly depleting, thanks to man's greed and want for more. the rich gets richer, and the poor gets poorer. why? if the whole world only gets twenty four hours to live.. i wonder what will happen. people will do all the things they never dared to do. the things they refrained from doing because they were afraid of the consequences.

i think.. the thing i wna do most is to actually make peace. with her. and them. the people in Africa and third world countries will die in the worst way. Dying before they were able to even enjoy life. is that fair? people say. Life ain't fair at all. Deal with it. but how can we? how am i supposed to help people out there. how? i'm only a kid.

maybe one day. when i'm someone. i swear. i'll do everything in my power to help those people. i swear.

rain rain go away.. come again another day..

i nearly had a heart attack just now. in the mrt. there was a plastic bag simply left there. and with all the death talk from earlier, my mind went wandering around. {what if it's a bomb?} {omg will it hurt?} above all, i felt fear. that i'd miss my family. i'd miss my friends. i'd miss doing whatever i would do if i could get over. it's kinda stupid, because when i die, maybe i'd cease to exist. is there a heaven? we can only wonder. and believe. there is. i know there is. but can i get into it?

or would i just go to hell. i'm a bad bad backslider. =( i promise to go to church but i break those promises. i pray every night requesting for more and more things from God. and i never do anything back. i screamed at Him just now when i was stranded in school. how rude can i get?

seriously. the world is dying. i want to do all the things i wanna do before i die.. i wna see dongbang. i wna grow up. i wna become who ever i wna be. even if i live, would i be all that? maybe dying only gives me more motivation.

hired a cab just now. when it came, the uncle was like {recently keep raining blablabla} then i told him. {uncle. shi ying wei the world is dying.} and i think he got shocked. i went on and on about how we must help the people and everything and that we must live life to the fullest. i tell that to myself everytime i get a reminder of how short our time is. every single time i see anything on African children. every single time. yet, i do nothing about my life. i continue spending money like it's water, continue laughing like nothing's wrong, and continue dreaming about unessecary stuff and fantasize about things that will never come true.

after this post.. i'm going back to that lifestyle. i cant do anything till i'm older. maybe i can just buy tissues from aunties and uncles who are selling. i cant do anything now but i swear i will when i grow up. i will. i will.

i'm going to achieve a hell lot of stuff when i grow up.
i'll be who i want to be.
=)

xoxo

till the heavens shine their light
and the angels start to sing
stay with me,
till eternity.

i'llrescuemyself
7:06 AM